It’s not about her age. It’s about her development.
Most parenting guides are organized as if all girls of a certain age cope with the same issues at the same time in the same way. They assume that a girl will show the same maturity level in all areas of her life. But that’s not the way human development works!
Normal human development is bumpy and uneven.
Her mature identity won’t happen accidentally or smoothly; it always develops unevenly over time. That's why, unlike most parenting guides, this resource provides research-based strategies for fostering growth in these specific developmental areas that are crucial to her emerging self:
We want our daughters to have a strong sense of self.
It’s important that we help our girl to grow up to have a strong identity: who she is, what she values, what she believes is important in her life and what she is able to do. We want her grow into adulthood knowing how to use her strengths and bounce back after failures. Her strong sense of identity will have a lot to do with her stability and happiness as an adult.
“One size fits all” approaches to parenting are too simplistic.
We want to help you to match your parenting efforts with wherever your daughter may be on her path towards maturity. You will focus on helping her make progress from wherever she is right now, not where you wish she were. Sometimes, you will help her by teaching. At other times, you may give her a footstool or a push.
Always use her strengths as ballast.
While you will devote more parenting energy to those areas in which her progress is stalled or stuck, you’ll also be grateful for the parts of her life in which she shines. Her strengths will help both of you have the confidence and grit to work on the hard stuff.